Nobody should have to be around while the “love of their life” is “grieving losing another person”
Oh man I’m so sorry. I’m like your wife but I’m not intimate with my partner due to him drinking and cheating on me. If i talk to him about it, it just starts argument. I sure hope she is able to heal from all this pain. Pray for both of you
I can’t force myself to have sex, I feel I don’t deserve to feel good at the same time I look at my partner and I see his sad eyes
Hello. I just want to let her know that her previous feelings of desire for intimacy with you only speaking from personal experience of being in her situation. I have been waiting 15 years to have the desire to be intimate with someone who I made the MISTAKE of marrying after infidelity in my last two months of pregnancy with our first, and only after that, daughter. The situation was ugly with me having to confront them in bed together. I can’t get the image out of my head. Of course I don’t want him! Yuck! It’s not just about betrayal and sloppy seconds. I just don’t want your nasty ass anymore and literally nothing will ever change that. Save yourself 13 years of trying to be attracted again. If you don’t want them the day after the affair you weren’t gonna want them again no matter how long you wait.
My partner and I were an amazing couple, he was the love of my life and I was sure we will grow old together. After 13 years of relationship, we went into a marital drift. I was alarming him and asking for a date, new activity, maybe fitness together, dancing, I complained that I felt I was taken for granted. He ignored my birthday, where I was always making a big celebration of como encontrar a mulher certa his. Suddenly a feeling for another person sneaked up on me. I was lying to myself that he is just a friend. One day we kissed and I felt reborn. I felt something I didn’t feel for so long that I don’t remember. That day I was dancing, singing, l living in hell. Confused, still in love and grieving, not able to rebuild the current relationship. I feel incredibly guilty and not worthy of any kindness from my partner. I feel extremely bad for hurting him, can’t forgive myself. I love my partner and he loves me more than anything. We support each other and cry together. But I can’t get sexy with him any more. I am panicking that this is really the end of us. He is hurt and this is also turning me off. Is there any hope we can make it work? how? We went to couples therapy, we stopped that, didn’t work. I felt prosecuted during meetings and I became even sadder. Not only sadness for the damage I caused, but also loss of the amazing relationship I had. And I also was madly in love with the lover, I still struggle to get over that, sometimes I fantasize if maybe I should chase him. ( I cut the contact with the lover, blocked him and not meeting which was incredibly difficult )
The thing with many people who stray from their relationships, is the sense of “uniqueness” they feel. Cheaters often feel they are “special” and that the straying is “legitimate” within their interpretation of events. Many cheaters even feel that its OK to “feel a loss” for the partner they cheated with. Some cheaters even feel that the person they cheated on should be hanging around for their convenience while they GRIEVE THE LOSS of the affair partner. Nobody should have to bear that. Remember, we CAN leave a relationship BEFORE cheating. THAT IS AN OPTION. It is certainly a more noble option than cheating on the one we claim to “love”. I am a firm believer that the “specialness” should be evenly distributed.
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